We can all agree that adulting is not all that it’s cracked up to be! Shuu we are going through the most jong! (speaking for myself and my friends Lol). We were sold dreams of independence, financial freedom, alcohol, drugs, SEX and relationships, perfect TV families (My wife and kids style) and all the trimmings that came with being an adult. Little did we know!
How many of us have had that moment where we honestly wish we could go back to our teen or pre teen years? When all you had to do was get good grades, stay out of trouble and do your homework! Chores were your only worry on the weekends, but even then, if you finished early, you had the whole day to go play.
It’s funny how eager we were to be grown up, to make our own decisions, our own rules!
Look at us now! 😂😭 Stressed! Depressed! Just defeated!
Parents are replaced by bosses, homework replaced by deadlines (that we can never seem to finish within a work week!). The only debt we had as kids was who’s house did we play at last time so we can change this week!
Aaaah, the bliss! So eager to lose it all just to be called an “adult”!
I digress!
The point I’m trying to make (before getting lost in my childhood memories!) is that as we got older things didn’t turn out as we had thought. Adulthood seems more grim than what we signed on for.
Or is it?
Make a list of all the things you wanted to do as an adult (preferably things that didn’t involve too much money and no fantasy “I wanna be superman” things!). Now tick off all the ones you’ve done/achieved. You’ll (hopefully) realize that you’ve done most, if not all of them.
Now the question is; But why does adulting still seem so bleak if I’ve done or achieved everything I wished for as a kid?
The answer is perception and focus.
People are strange in that it’s easier to focus on negative things rather than positive ones. Some studies suggest that this is because of survival behavior (we needed to remember the fire that burnt us, the predator that eats us more than the fact that as we think of those predators, we’re sitting in the shade and eating a peach). Even in social interactions, a person can do 100 good things but they’ll be more known for the few bad ones they did.
So we worry about the way our bosses treat us, and not focus on the fact that we have a job. We stress about all the debt we have and forget the salary that allowed us to open those accounts in the first place. We worry about the love we lost but forget about the freedom we have to choose and love whoever we want.
I could go on, but I think you get my point. Even as kids we weren’t always focused on how good we had it then (we know oh so well how good we had it then, don’t we?! Lol) but we were more focused on what we didn’t have.
Everything I’ve written about is probably something you’ve heard before, just perhaps worded differently. But like the title of this post, sometimes we need a different perspective to open us up to greater understanding.
So the next time you feel stress, depression and the need to revert back into your childhood self, allow yourself to take a step back, to the side, and take a different look at your life and how good you actually have it. (if you’re your own worst critic like myself and find it hard to not find faults in everything you do, just ask a friend or colleague how they perceive your life, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at all the good you’ve overlooked)
I am who~what~where~how~when~why I am…
TechniQue12
Midnight Sun 