Okaaaay! Here we go again! Your not so favorite wanna be blogger is back again with another one of his many random thoughts on human experience and purpose!
(just read my last couple of posts and they all start like this! 😂)
I know! I know! I’m like the abusive boyfriend that keeps coming back and you keep accepting because you know he can be a better person!
And just as my insensitive analogy shows, this time I’m going to try and put as little effort into overthinking my writing as possible. And I do apologize to anyone I offend, but like today’s topic, I’m TRYING TO BE A BETTER HUMAN and that comes with its fair share of ups and downs, so just bear with me…
So let’s get to it!
Ever since I turned 25 I’ve always had a “side mission” of becoming a better person. This came about when I noticed that I am an empath and can put myself in people’s shoes, even if it’s the most vile human being, I can always “understand” or be able to separate the person from the action. (I was watching a documentary on Hitler, and I noted that his intelligence, drive and determination was admirable! *horrible! I know!)
Back to the mission!
Over the years I decided that I will consciously choose to be a better person in whichever situation I was faced with! I mean the world could do with more positivity. Or so I thought…
At first it was easy (like starting that diet, or gym, or a blog! Lol). I mean it’s one day at a time, do one good deed, be nice to one person. How hard can that be?
But as time went on, I realized it’s not as easy as I had thought. Things, people and situations change all the time, and were not always up to speed on which has changed and by how much. I was unaware of the stresses that lay ahead of my own life and journey, but also naive to think that people would be “nice” just because I’m nice to them.
There’s a lot more mental training that I need to do if I’m to further pursue this side mission. Because at my current state, I will one day get consumed into people’s abyss of anger and vitriol and won’t be able to get myself out.
People are damaged, people are hurt, people are angry at a level which they aren’t even aware of. This makes it even more difficult for them to notice when someone is just being “nice” to them. And this makes it even more difficult for an empath who can see from their point of view, to be nice. And the sad part is that, the outlet of all of this hurt is normally the “nice” people, or even anyone who in all truth, is just innocent.
A perfect example is the time I took a hiatus from social media. This was (amongst other things) caused by reading the comments under Cassper Nyovest’s tweet. He innocently tweeted his support for the people of the cape flats because of the ongoing violence there (like I would expect from any other “celebrity”). But instead of support for his statement, people were telling him that because he didn’t live or grow up in CPT, he couldn’t relate and therefore should keep his comments to himself.
Here’s where my dilemma was – I could understand where the people were coming from, I mean no one wants to get “support” from a celebrity in his mansion while they were dodging bullets on a daily basis.
But if you read that sentence with a clear mind and understanding, you would see that the problem is not the celebrity posting from the mansion, but the person needing an outlet for their hurt, and deciding that Cassper was it.
You see, the problem with trying to be a better human being, is that you automatically assume that other people are also on the same side mission, with the same understanding and plan on how to achieve it.
But they’re not…
And this is where strong mental training is required. And like any other form of training, it’s exhausting and tedious (like losing belly fat!).
I had to realise that it will take time for me to adjust to the frequency of everything and everyone. That it will take time for me to acquire understanding on a higher level that it becomes like second nature.
And like this blog, and my diet, and my gym plans, I will take it one day at a time, do what I can, and keep at it until it becomes like second nature!
Oh yeah! I found a quote on Twitter which actually sparked the inspiration for this post!
“Intelligence is restrained by doubt, whereas ignorance runs round freely on the legs of confidence” ~ Immortal Technique.
*last quick fun fact – I got the inspiration for my moniker from Immortal Tech! 😜
I am who~what~where~how~when~why I am…
TechniQue12
Midnight Sun 